Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Witness

The wind was cool in the night. That was the only thing making him feel calm. His head was so jammed with thoughts that the only thing he could do was to breathe. There was a dead quietness in the night which really wasn't quiet enough as he could hear the traffic. But that was good. It made him realize that there was life out there. Even though inside him life was getting sucked out by all tiring thoughts.

To get away from it all he started walking. As if he could run away from his brain. Just the movement made him feel like there was a purpose. And indeed there was! He could always hear his heart when he walked. He wasn't alone then. Listening to his heart today was like a beautiful melody. How curious... it beats in a rhythm but sings him a melody? He wished he could be by the river. The vast amount of water flowing. He could just stand at the bank and watch this eternal movement. Just being a witness. Enchanted by it. He always felt thirsty looking at the river.

Its not unusual for today's youth to have such life sucking tiring fits of frustration. A world of chaos. So much happening. Has our brain evolved to comprehend such vast amount of information available at our fingertips? What's happening in France? What's happening in Turkey, Russia? All information just a tip of a finger away. How is anyone to make a sense of it all? Was he a journalist? No, just a computer nerd. Then why does it make him uneasy going few hours without checking news. He was tipsy, more than usual.  He always felt like some big important event might be unraveling in some corner of the world without him knowing it. And even if he knew then what? What does he do about it? Nothing. Nothing more than just witness. Just the way he watches a river flow. Standing on the bank of it all.

He doesn't know why, but some how he feels knowing is important. And more than knowing understanding it. That gives him comfort. That gives him purpose. Not to react to it. It's a happening that he just needs to observe and not involve. If he reacts then he knows that he loses his power.

The power to witness. He feels it's his responsibility. Not to judge nor to form an opinion nor to react. Just witness. The way we understand the movement of the earth by watching the movement of the sun, same way he understands or feels the movement of life by watching things happening, unfolding.
 
He doesn't choose what to watch. It's something that attracts his attention. He feels it's important for him to watch. Once an event happens he follows it to a point he no longer feels the need. What happens if he doesn't watch? It's like a river, it follows it's destined course when he is watching. Even if it bends or even when it falls. It's all destined. And if the river bends or falls without him watching? Well, that happens too because it's destined. But he is not aware of that destiny, and suddenly he will find himself not at the bank, but flowing with the river, not knowing when to turn as the river bends or when to stop before river falls. Knowing keeps him at the bank. Not knowing he finds himself in the middle of the flow that he doesn't understand the direction of.

But it's not just knowing. It's witnessing. It's understanding. Without reaction. Without judgement.




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